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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28483926">Pull away the world from me (I don't mind)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/collecting__stardust/pseuds/collecting__stardust'>collecting__stardust</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fear of separation [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, a long overdue sequel, and the last paragraph too, anyway juyeon is only mentioned, i write this in one setting and now its almost 3, it feels nice to get back into writing, jeongin too, lol i cant believe there will come a day where i will write a sequel, not beta read we die like men, since its the main reason why i write this story in the first place, this is crappy but i cant bring myself to care, title and song is inspired from separate by pvris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:49:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28483926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/collecting__stardust/pseuds/collecting__stardust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Hyunjin finds out the reason why Seungmin is distancing himself from him.</p><p>A long overdue sequel for I'm not ready to say good night (I can't sleep) but written in Hyunjin's POV.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hwang Hyunjin &amp; Yang Jeongin | I.N, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fear of separation [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2086422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pull away the world from me (I don't mind)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! So I have been back into writing after ages so I would like to apologize beforehand because my writing skills have been rusty. I never thought of writing a sequel but as I listen to Separate by Pvris, I realised how closely it relates to Eyelids so I decide to write one. It is really overdue but hey, at least better late than never.</p><p>Since this story is really related to the first part, I suggest you read the first one to really understand it. If you want to read it as stand alone then it is up to you but I cannot ensure you to really get it though. Actually I don't really know if there is anyone who will read this lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It hurts to see the person that you love the most drifts away from you. It hurts more when you can do nothing to prevent it from happening so you end up just watch helplessly, hoping that it is all a nightmare.</p><p>Hyunjin has no idea when and where he went wrong. He is pretty sure that Seungmin is content with him, at least that is what he wants to believe. On their marriage, a lot of Seungmin’s friends and acquaintances tell him that they have never seen him as happy as after they meet. So how did it come to this?</p><p>He never thought that he will find comfort in the practice room, staying back when everyone else has gone home. Before all he can think of after work is to rush back home just to see the love of his life. He never wants to part from his significant other and wishes to always be by his side.</p><p>But now it hurts too much to step into the house. It pains him to see Seungmin’s red rimmed eyes from crying especially when he knows that it is because of him. It also hurts so much when they fight and to see the slumped shoulders when they call it a day. He wants nothing more and to engulf him in a hug but he does not think he can handle having Seungmin so stiffed in his arms or even worse, having the other pushing him away.</p><p>He starts to properly realise his lover starting to act differently after the last party they attend together. He brushes it off at that time but he does notices the way Seungmin starts to look off when he introduces Jeongin to him. But when he tries to ask Seungmin about it later he always tenses up and refuses to talk more. They seem to have get along well that night so he has no idea why the other is so opposed to talking about Jeongin yet he does not want to push him in fear that it will lead to a fight.</p><p>It is sad that they do not get along well. Jeongin is such a kind friend and Hyunjin feels himself at ease whenever he is with Jeongin. He cannot explain it but they can work around each other easily, like there is some strong chemistry between them. Something about Jeongin brings him comfort that no one else has ever does, not even Seungmin. Yet all he can think of is the other whenever they are together.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, water break!” Hyunjin snaps out of his train of thoughts and lets out a sigh. He can hardly concentrate lately which is a trouble as the day of the concert is getting nearer. As he leans on the wall at the corner of the room, he looks up to see Minho walking towards him. He tosses a water bottle at him which mumbles a thanks before taking a huge gulp out of it.</p><p>“You know, you have been really out of it lately.” That makes Hyunjin hangs his head low. Of course the others must have noticed. “I know it is none of my business but you need to really solve it as soon as possible. It is clearly taken a toll on you and I have never seen you this miserable before.”</p><p>That makes Hyunjin lets out a humorless laugh. “What should I fix when I don’t even know what is wrong?” He then stares back at the gold band on his ring finger. “It is like we are fine and suddenly we are starting to grow distant. I have no idea what is my mistake.”<br/>
“Then talk. You are the one that used to preach on me that communication is key.”</p><p>“That is the problem!” He can feel anger starts to rise in him and he takes in deep breath to calm himself down. “It always lead to fight instead. I just can’t get him to talk about his concern and I don’t know what should I do.”</p><p>Minho is quiet for awhile before he answers. “Then force him to. If the both of you keeps on running away, then how can it be fixed?”</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin finds himself making a reservation at the famous Western restaurant that Juyeon recommends him the other day. Seungmin usually thinks that fancy date is a waste of money but he always seem to enjoy romantic dates once in awhile. So after agreeing on a date on one of their better weeks, they find themselves in that restaurant.</p><p>It is obvious just how much their relationship has fallen apart since their last fancy date. Instead of shy smiles and random conversations that flows easily, there is a hint of awkwardness in the air. Still, Hyunjin ignores it and tries his best to make it comfortable for the two of them.</p><p>As they went through their steaks, he decides to get into the topic at hand. “Seungmin,” he tries to ignore the pain in his chest when Seungmin tenses up. “Is there something that I did?”</p><p>“It’s nothing.” There it is again. The dismissal. Hyunjin can feel his hands shaking and tries his best to conceal it. “Then why-” he can feels tears pooling in his eyes and inhales a shaky breath. “Why are you pushing me away?”</p><p>Seungmin stares at him and there is pain in his eyes. “I don’t-” To make the timing worse, his phone rings and Jeongin’s name flashes on his screen. He immediately reaches over to reject the call but Seungmin stops it. “Answer it. There must be something important for him to call you.”</p><p>“This is our date, whatever it is, it is not as important as you.”</p><p>Still, Seungmin shakes his head and insists him to answer the call. And that is when it hits him.</p><p>“Seungmin, are you jealous of Jeongin?”</p><p>He never considers Seungmin as the jealous type. He has had closer friends than Jeongin and Seungmin has never shown concern about that. However, the hurt on Seungmin’s face deepen and he seems to be trying to not cry.</p><p>“It’s not that! I - nevermind.” He then stands up to leave but Hyunjin is quicker to catch his wrist to stop him. “You shouldn’t be. You know that you are the only one I love, right?”</p><p>Instead of comforting him, his words only serve to make his lover cries. “Sorry, Hyunjin but I can’t. I can’t continue with this talk.”</p><p>And then he leaves and Hyunjin is left to see his retreating back going out of the restaurant, his heart plummet to the floor with pain and confusion.</p><p> </p><p>It has become a routine after that. He will spend most of his time after work in the bar, sometimes alone and the other times with a company. This time he is accompanied by Jisung.</p><p>“I just can’t understand it, Jisung,” he slurs, downing another shot of vodka. In front of him Jisung makes a disapproving face but he pays no attention to it. “I don’t know why he is so opposed to Jeongin and why he is so reluctant to talk. Now it feels like I am the only one that is trying to fix this relationship and I am so fucking tired.”</p><p>“Then why do you stay though? If it hurts you so much and he shows no sign in trying then maybe you guys should end it all.” At that Hyunjin puts down the glass and glares at Jisung. “Isn’t it fucking obvious? My heart still longs for him! As stupid as all of this, I cannot bear to leave him.”</p><p>He pours himself another shot but it is quickly snatched by Jisung. “But then you spend all your time at random bars, drinking your misery away. I know it hurts but if it only brings pain to both of you, why don’t you just end it? It is for the best for the two of you.”</p><p>Hyunjin sniffles and tries to reach for the glass but Jisung ends up drinking it, grimacing at the taste. “Plus, a lot of people are dying to have you. Look at Jeongin. He is clearly into you though he shows no action about it. Didn’t you tell me that you guys have some unexplainable sparks too?”</p><p>At that he falls silence. It is true, there is something about Jeongin that attracts him. That singer is easy to hang with and they have some connection where they can understand each other without no words being spoken among them. He knows that Jeongin feels it too when the other says how being around him brings comfort to him.</p><p>But then he thinks of Seungmin. Seungmin who comforts him when he is injured which forced him to miss his opportunity to be a back-up dancer for an EXO tour. Seungmin who stays up late to greet him whenever he needs to stay back. Seungmin who shows his love to him in secrete ways like including a candid picture of him in his photobook with sweet caption of ‘the person I gave my heart to’ in the thanks to segment.</p><p>Being with Seungmin is not easy and there is more thunderstorms than rainbows but he cannot imagine himself with anyone else. His mind travels back to the question his husband asks him a week before their marriage.</p><p>“Hyunjin, do you think that love can overcome fate?”</p><p>There is hesitance in his voice when he questions it and also fear. Hyunjin has no idea why but he has a strong feeling that that question may means something more than just a simple curiosity. He does not know how to approach this topic but he knows that he needs to see Seungmin as soon as possible.</p><p>He then stands up abruptly, stumbling a bit because he has not sobered up completely. Jisung is quick to rise to his feet, confusion clear in his face as he asks him what he is doing. “Bring me home, Jisung. I want to meet Seungmin.”</p><p>There seems to be a lot of questions at the tip of his tongue yet Jisung says nothing as he guides him to his car. He even offers him water that he keeps in his car to help him sober up more and makes sure that he does not trip on his way to his door.</p><p>“Whatever you are going to do, I hope that it will be help to solve whatever you are going through.”</p><p>It is way past midnight now yet Seungmin does not look like he is awaken when he opens the door. He even thanks Jisung for bringing him home and silently gives him some medicine to prevent him from the pain of hangover the next day.</p><p>“Seungmin,” he says softly. The said male looks up and Hyunjin’s heart aches as he looks at him. There are prominent dark circles under his eyes that are a dead giveaway of countless sleepless nights. He looks tired yet he still hums in answer.</p><p>“Are you doubting my love for you?” That question makes him looks away and Seungmin bites his lower lips. “You are drunk, Hyunjin. You should rest-”</p><p>“I am not drunk enough to be unable to hold a proper conversation.” It is true. He can feel the effects of alcohol slowly dissipating. Plus, he does not want to put off this overdue talk anymore. “Answer me. Are you?”</p><p>His lover looks down and he can see his lips quiver. “It is only a matter of time. Soon, you will leave me too.”</p><p>At that answer, Hyunjin raises his eyebrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”</p><p>A pained smile tugs on Seungmin’s lips and it breaks Hyunjin’s heart to witness it. “You are not meant for me, Hyunjin. I love you so much but you and I are not supposed to be together in the first place. This,” he points at the golden band in his finger identical to the one on Hyunjin’s, “is a result of my selfishness.”</p><p>“I don’t understand. Why are you so sure that we are not meant for each other?”</p><p>“As insane as this may sound like, I can see the red string of fate.” He pauses, as if waiting for Hyunjin to laugh at him or anything and when the other shows no reaction, he lets out a deep sigh as if revealing the deepest secret buried in his chest. “The people whose strings are connected together are meant for each other. I have witnessed countless times how the relationship of people whose strings are not connected crumbles no matter how strong it was in the beginning.”</p><p>A tear slips down his cheek and he wipes it away harshly. “I thought we won’t be longer more than 5 years since there are other people at the other end of our strings. Hell, I thought that we will be over especially now that you have found yours.”</p><p>A person comes into Hyunjin’s mind as he stares at his husband with wide eyes. “Jeongin-” Seungmin nods at that, a hollow laugh escaping his lips. “You guessed it right. I feel guilty that I have been separating you two when it is obvious that you guys are so fitted together. I try so hard to break things off with you but you keep on making it so hard for me.” More tears flow down his beautiful eyes and no matter how hard he wipes it away, it does not stop falling.</p><p>Seungmin inhales a sharp breath and tries to smile but fails. “That’s why when you say that I am the only one you love, I can’t hold it anymore. I love you so much that I can’t end this but at the same time the guilt is killing me. I want to be with you even when I know that we does not belong with each other. I am sorry.” With that he breaks down, looking down at his lap and trying so hard to control his sobs. He looks so fragile there, curling into himself at the sofa like he is trying to protect himself from the harsh world.</p><p>Hyunjin does not even realise that he is crying too until he feels tears drops down his chin. He wipes it away and walks towards Seungmin, lifting his chin up so that he can looks at him properly. Even in this state, the other is still the most beautiful person he has even lays his eyes on and it breaks his heart knowing how long has he suffers on his own.</p><p>“A week before our marriage you ask me if I think that love can overcome fate and if I am willing to, do you remember?” At that the other nods and Hyunjin wipes his tears away despite it being a futile effort. “Do you remember my answer?” When he receives another nod, he gives a small smile,</p><p>“My answer has never changed no matter how many time passed by. I only want to be with you even if fate does not allowed it. Even if the string on my hand says otherwise, my heart only belongs to you and I am willing to be with you, as long as you want me.”</p><p>His answer makes Seungmin sobs louder and he pulls him in a hug which the latter immediately reciprocates, his hands clenching his shirt. He is full on crying now too and they seek comfort from their pain in the embrace. Even if the universe disapproves of them being together, their love for each other are too strong to obey the fate written for them.</p><p>Hyunjin does not know what will happen to them and if they will ever be able to overcome their fate. But he is willing to try and from how tight Seungmin embraces him, he knows that he feels the same. Jeongin may be the one for him yet he has never loves anyone as much as he loves Seungmin. Seungmin is the only one that he feels right holding hands with and the only one that he wants to wake up to every single day of his life.</p><p>The world can take everything for him and he will not mind. As long as it does not separate him from Seungmin, he will be fine. Because Kim Seungmin is his love and he cannot bear to go on with life without him by his side.</p>
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